A Little Moment of Truth

Before I started this blog, I did a lot of research. I had a list of favourite blogs that I visited most days and enjoyed discovering new ones to add to it. I loved that their authors had the power to make me feel inspired and passionate about the things that I already loved to do - writing, taking photos, crafts, cooking and enjoying precious moments with the people that I love, my son, my parents, my sister and friends.

A precious moment with my baby sis!

After the initial set up of my blog, I wanted to get started straight away - and what better place to start than the 'About Me' section; but you know what? I was stumped and I couldn't believe it! How hard was it to write something about myself, a few words? I know myself better than anyone, so why was I having so much trouble?

I read other bloggers 'About Me' sections and the more that I read, the more intimidated I felt and started asking myself why someone would even bother to read my blog - especially if I couldn't even sum up into a couple of sentences who I am and what I'm about.

This is one of my favourite quotes; I feel inspired just by lookin at it {which is why I have a framed copy on my wall!}. I found it on Pinterest.

 I must have read one hundred 'About Me' sections from random blogs, written by females from all over the world. They were all summed up perfectly; their sentences were so beautifully constructed and their photos were dreamlike and whimsical. These women were perfect mothers, wives, crafters / cooks / photographers / writers and bloggers, with clean, tidy homes, sculpted gardens, organised workspaces and their children never had tanties. They always had happy dispositions and never seemed to struggle with anything. They were perfect women with perfect lives and it was all wrapped up in a pretty pink bow, showcased through their blogs. I felt really out of my depth, because I thought that those were the requirements that I needed to posess, in order to make a read-worthy blog.

Then one day recently, I had an ephiphany. Those women, whose blogs I used to read on a daily basis - were by no means perfect. No body is; and life never is either. There are high points and low points. Those women were good at making themselves and their lives look perfect, but who is that helping because behind the smiling faces - when the camera stops flashing and their make-up is off, that is where the reality is. Is where the truth is. And that is what I want my blog to be. I want it to be real and true. Sure, I want to put up beautiful photos and create something inspirational and uplifting, but at the same time, I dont want anybody to think that I am always smiling or laughing {because I'm not}; or that my child never has tantrums {because I'm that mother carrying her screaming kid out of the toy section}; or that my house is always clean and tidy {you should see it today!}; or that I never burn my muffins {even making toast is a challenge these days};  because that is just not true. I have high points and low points. It's a pretty even flow actually, but the low points really make you apprecitate the high points and basque in them.

If looks could kill... I'd be one door-nail!

So, in saying all of that, here are some other truthes about me that I thought you should know before we go any further down this road.

• I struggle at the best of times to find the right words to say {in both English and French}. I never know what to say to anyone in moments of grief and find that a hug or a gesture is worth just as much, if not more than a few consoling words strung together.

I picked this bouquet of wild flowers for Mathieu's Grandpa, Julien, who passed away in the Summer of 2012. It was something that I wanted to do for him, because he was a farmer and he loved the rurual, rustic country. He was always so lovely to me. I still think about him and I still miss him.

• Although I love taking photos I will take hundreds just to get one good shot. I've only just learnt how to use my camera properly... and I've had it for over three years. My next challenge is learning how to use my iphone.

A very rare shot; a Cicada / Cigale emerging from it's skeleton. It was a really beautiful thing to watch!

• I'm not a perfect daughter, sister or friend. I try to be, but relationships are hard - a good hard, but still hard. I love my family to the moon and back and we are all really close and laugh a lot, but that doesn't mean that we dont fight. They are never huge, hateful fights and dont usually last longer than a day. I never understood people who could fight like that, especially with people that they love, that they are lucky to have. I'm so grateful for my family and have beautiful memories and stories because of them. They have been there through everything and even if they weren't holding my hand at the time, they were definitely holding my heart - and still are.

My beautiful family!

• As for being a Mama, I am no where near perfect! I do try to be the best that I can be for my son although I do make mistakes. Having Gabe changed my life and me in so many different ways. I felt like he filled a void that I always had in me. He has shown me a deeper, stronger love that I never even dreamed could exist and makes me strive to be a better human being.      

One of our favourite places.

• My relationship with Mathieu {Gabe's dad} is nowhere near perfect - in fact, it's in a very grey area and I cant even say for sure where it / we will be this time next year.

• My house is not always clean and tidy. In fact, I'm just happy if Gabe keeps even half of his toys off the floor. When it comes to cooking, I burn shit all the time. Since I've had Gabe, I actually think the birth fried my brain a little because I seem to have lost a portion of my cooking abilities and when recipes work out well, it's a fluke, or pot luck more than talent or anything else.

• As for the crafts that I do, these are things that I have experimented with over the years. I have so many hobbies, because I become interested in one thing and for weeks, it will consume me. I'll buy all the equipment that I need and books; I'll watch Youtube videos and start a project. Then, I will discover something new and the cycle will repeat itself before I have even finished the last project that I was working on.  I am also someone who gets in idea in my head of how I want something to be, and if something doesn't turn out exactly how I initially imagined it, I find it really hard to except it and even harder to try again. When I first started making soap, I had a lot of batches go rancid. I felt like I had really failed... then I realised, if I just give up, I will never suceed at anything; I will fail 'myself' more than anything else. So I kept going, and eventually things started to go right.

My home made Orange & Cinnamon soap - deliciosos!

And, that is my little moment of truth. Epiphanies and realisations are so important for growth and self development. Without them, you wont ever evolve into the beautiful creature that you are supposed to be.