Frenchify Me: The Story Behind It!

What's In A Name?

I think that even as adults,  we all have moments where we might question our worth, ourselves and who we are. I know this feeling well, because it is something that I have done for pretty much most of my life.

Frenchify is a word that I would use to make light of everything that I was not, and that life in France was not. When ever I used to struggle with something and it would get me down, I used to wish that I could make myself fit in and as time passed with each new journal entry, I eventually started referring to it as Frenchifying myself.

My blog, Frenchify Me, is something that I had been wanting to do and make work for a long time. Starting a new life here, in France, was a huge decision and one that I didn't entirely think through. I came here with my head in a bubble and very unrealistic ideas of what I thought life would be like. That bubble was about to explode!

Before I lived in France, I thought of it as a small, croissant-shaped country somewhere in Europe with the Eiffel Tower as it's only claim to fame. The France that existed in my mind, was a very special place.

In my France, women wore nothing but Chanel and walked white, fluffy poodles along old streets lined with Cherry Blossoms. The men - all sporting Salvador Dali moustaches - wore blue & white striped tops, berets and carried baguettes and journals under their arms.

The younger crowd shared blissful moments sipping coffee in quaint, hidden cafés that overlooked some glorious, French monument. There were accordian players on every corner and people were in love everywhere or having passionate affairs in the rain that changed them forever.

 

This lovely image that I had painted for myself, may still be true about Paris... but not where I ended up.

When Mathieu pulled up in front the farm all those years ago and yelled out, 'We're here'... my montage of glistening, whimsical images shattered on the dirt in front of me, leaving nothing but a dirt cloud and dusty shoes. I stared at the huge mountain of metal scraps next to a line of tractors and old car parts wondering where all the pretty poodles had gone. Instead of accordians playing, all I could hear were goats and sheep... which explained the smell. Chanel was a French fairytale, berets a myth and no one took romantic strolls in the rain.

I didn't realise at that moment just how hard reality was going to crash down around me. I could never have imagined some of the forces that I was going to come up against and it didn't occur to me that I would question things that I had never even given a second thought about. Communication would be one of my greatest problems. I would struggle with everything; the language, the culture - accepting it and being accepted by it; I felt very alone and as though I had gone from having everything to having nothing. I started to leave behind the person that I used to be and the problem was, I didn't know who to be, or how to be.

I wanted a little space where I could figure things out. A space that I could call my own and where it did not matter that I didn't speak French or have brown hair and brown eyes. I wanted a space where I could not only combine my love of writing and photography, along with anything else that took my fancy but where I could vent all of my anger and frustrations about France, the French and all of the quirks that came hand in hand with them. With that, the idea for a blog was born... but what to call it?!

I stood out more than ever and for the first time in my life, hated it. I wished more than anything, that I could just blend into the crowd. But, at 183cm tall with blonde hair and blue eyes, I towered over every crowd and did anything but blend in. I considered changing my hair colour so many times, but whenever I fled to the pharmacy to buy a hair dye, my superficial-self would rear her ugly head and my vision would become impaired by creams, solutions and tablets for wrinkles, cellulite, belly-flab, weight loss, muscle tone, and skin colour. I would leave there doubting myself even more, but in other ways.

I never would have expected in my most horrific nightmares that my looks, or my voice would slip me into an unspoken catergory that is only barely tolerated. I was a foreigner in the south of France and there was nothing Francaise about me. I wanted a magic wand that I could wave and make all of those problems disappear; I wanted to Frenchify myself.

Frenchify Me didn't become a real blog until much later but, the name always stuck with me. Eventually, I grew to love France and all of it's quirks and wanted to include them in my blog, so the idea for the blog has evolved over time, as have I. Living here is a huge part of the person that I have become. I have done a lot of growing up, although, most of the time, I still feel like I am 25 - and, I still have a lot of growing to do... but, I'm ok with that.

When I read back over my journal entries from those early years, I wish so much that I could just go back and tell myself to just be 'me' and to be proud of it. I wish that I had celebrated all of those things that made me stand out; my hair & eye colour, my height, my accent, my voice, the fact that I smile too much, hum too much. Who wants to be like everybody else? Who wants to blend into a crowd and become a facelss shadow? Not me. Not now. These days, I do everything to make sure that I DO stand out and I dont make apologies for that. I still care what people think {to a certain degree}, I'm not strong in that sense, but I wont apologise for being myself anymore. I dont think anyone should. I hope my son grows up knowing that too.

* All images for this post were found on Pinterest. Search, Paris illustrations.

10 Commandments: Learning A Second Language!

As a native {Australian} English speaker, I can honestly say that learning another language has been one of the most rewarding and challenging things that I have ever done. It is something that I still struggle with at times, but when I think back to my early days of living in France, I realise just how far I have come. 

I didn't learn a language at school. The closest that I ever came to learning one was when I was a kid; my Grandma used to sit my sister and I in our study, with her old French text book and make us learn French Proverbs. It was actually something that we enjoyed, but as we got older, it was one of those games, like 'Eye Spy With My Little Eye', that you kind of just forgot about playing.

When I told people that I was going to live in France, everyone said, 'Don't worry, you'll pick up the lingo'... 'Immerse yourself in the culture and you'll be fluent in no time'! 

Those people were drips who didn't have a clue; and I was an even bigger drip for thinking, 'Yeah, they're probably right'! 

I mean, sure, that works well for some people {those who are adept at languages, perhaps} and it makes sense, doesn't it. Surely if you are living somewhere foreign, you should start to pick up a few words, at least! Um, no! Not me! I am someone who needs to hear a word, see it {on paper}, hear it again, see it again, repeat it a few times... and then I'll forget it and need to start the whole process from the beginning.

It took me a damn long time - over a year before I could even hear individual, french words. When French people spoke, their whole conversation sounded like one, incredibly long word and I found myself waiting for the next word to be said - or even for them to slow down and take a breather so that I could escape them and avoid the humiliation of them discovering that 'I only speak a little French' - which actually means, not a whole fucking lot!

With that said, if you are planning on travelling to a foreign land, it will only benefit and change your whole experience if you can speak, even a little, of the native tongue and what ever your reason for wanting to learn another language, I have put together some of my best advice, that I wish someone had given me, before coming to LIVE in France.

To learn another language, you need to have the right frame of mind. You have to commit yourself to learning and be willing to go at it with consistency. Decide which language you would like to learn and choose how you would like to learn it; are you going to sign up for a course through TAFE or University? Would you prefer to do it on your own  - online or by books & CD's? Do you think that you would learn better with a study-budy? What ever learning option you go with, make sure it is the right option for you, because you know yourself better than anyone else and only YOU can know what works best for you!

Before you start to learn your 2nd language, give yourself a quick refresher course in the grammar of your own mother-tongue! It is no good learning another language if you don't know the difference between a verb, an adjective, a noun or an article. When I got serious about learning French, I actually had to put it on hold, jump on line and refresh my memory. Make a cheat sheet and keep it beside you so that you wont forget! 

Once you have done this, start on the new language. A good place to begin would be with the verb 'To Be'. It's the most commonly used in every language and once you know it, go from there.

 

There are a wealth of free on-line courses in most languages at your finger tips, so if that is the way that you want to go, Good luck! However, if you feel more comfortable with books, CD's, MP3's - there are an array of applications ready to use on smart phones, the possibilities are endless. In fact, as I'm writing this, I'm wondering, with all of the available opportunities there are to learn foreign languages, why more people aren't doing so!

Unfortunately for me, when I needed to learn French, the internet at Mathieu's parents house was the old, dial up kind so it was pain-stakingly slow; it was for that reason that I decided to buy a few different books and CD's and learn French that way. I am proud to say that I am self-taught, and trust me, if I can do it... you can too!

This goes without saying, but in order to be good at something you have to practise at it and be consistent with it. It's no good buying a French book, reading it everyday for one week and then not picking it up for two. You will never learn anything that way! Try to set aside some time for yourself everyday, so that you can get in at least half an hour. You don't have to sit there for hours; you wont learn anything once you stop wanting to learn, so don't let it become like jail time. If you are someone {like me}, who believes that you don't have as many hours in the day as the average person - snap out of it! Even five or ten minutes will do you good and I'm sure that you can find that somewhere! 

No one can force you to learn a language and no one can do it for you; if life was that easy, I'd have other people dieting for me all the time and I'd have Uni degrees coming out of my ears! As I mentioned earlier, you know what methods of study will work best for you. Here are some things that I did on a daily basis to really embed the language into my brain:

• I set aside one hour per day to read over my French books. I sat at the kitchen table with a pot of hot tea and wrote out verb conjugations until my fingers bled {not really,but you know!}, one after the other. I read about grammar rules and if I didn't understand something completely, I would look it up online or refer to one of the many other French books that I had in my possession. Also, until I understood something and felt comfortable with it, I wouldn't let myself move on to the next chapter of the book. Even if I couldn't make the full hour, I always tried to do something, even if it was reading over the work that I had done the day before.
• Whilst cleaning the house, instead of listening to music, I would put on a French CD. I would put it on repeat until I knew it off by heart, just like a song. It really helped with my pronunciation.
• I watched my favourite DVD's with French subtitles, or I would watch them in French with English subtitles. 
• I started listening to French music. Sometimes as an exercise, if I didn't feel like reading through a text book, I would listen to one of the CD's, pick a song and try to translate it; it led me to the  discovery of new words all the time.
• To learn the names of everyday appliances, I made labels with a Dymo machine - and I labelled absolutely everything! I had the French name, the English name, it's plural and whether it was feminine or masculine. I cant tell you how much this helped me, not only with learning what things were called, but how they were spelled!
• For years, behind the toilet door, I had a picture of a Clinique model. I wrote all over her; what each body part was called; again, if it was masculine, feminine and it's plural. I did the same for clothes & cosmetics - I would tear pages out of magazines and made a quite a large collage behind the loo door.
• For the verbs that I really had trouble remembering, I started making my own verb cards. On one side, I wrote the French conjugations and on the other side, the English. I would keep them and test myself until I knew them by heart.

Like with anything, there will be hiccups along the way. Of course you will make mistakes, be misunderstood, misinterpreted. You will be treated like a clown, perhaps as though you are deaf and stupid. You will have people hear your accent and then find them starting to speak in English. What ever the reason, you are bound to get angry at some point. Learning something and learning it well is a long process. You will feel like you are not learning quickly enough and as though you are stupid. You will have moments when you progress quickly and then feel as though you are regressing. You will question your every reason for even wanting to learn another language and you will get angry - so just let yourself! Be mad and stop your studies - for a day. Or two days. Soon enough, something amazing will happen and you will have a breakthrough and realise how far you have come since you first started. 

This is easier said than done, and is more about YOU than anything else - but when learning a new language - when speaking a new language, you need to speak it with a little oomph, and pizazz! Latin languages are more musical then the English language, so you need to speak it and come across as though you know what you are saying. And, why wouldn't you, with all of the studying that you have been doing and all of the progress that you have made from the beginning, you should be feeling more confident within yourself!

Confidence is something that will come naturally and with a little time, so you don't really need to fake it. When you start speaking to people, you will find your voice and get used to hearing another language come out of your mouth. Remember, the more that you remove yourself from your comfort zone, the more you speak, the more confident you will become. Then, nothing can stop you!

I find that when I'm nervous, is when I have the most trouble finding my words - in any language! So, I take a deep breathe, hold it, exhale and then speak. It's as though that deep breathe has wiped the slate clean of any stumblings & stutterings that I have made in the past. That's my story anyway and I'm sticking with it!

So, after a while - hopefully you have developed your own learning rythm and you should be able to remember commonly used verbs and be able to form sentences. When meeting new people, even if they speak your mother-tongue, insist on speaking the language that you are learning. Otherwise, you will fall into the pattern of speaking your own language and you wont progress. 

It's one thing knowing verbs and nouns but it is another to be able to use this newly acquired talent in an everyday conversation - because trust me, one thing that language books do not teach you, are informal conversations like the kind you would have with family or close friends. Which leads me to my next point...

When meeting new people, they will understand that you are foreigner and if they have a brain in their head, they will try and speak a little bit slower for you - if they don't, don't be afraid to ask them to slow the fuck down! 

If you don't understand something that has been said, say so and ask them to explain it. I think that the French {and I say this with love and affection} love to hear the sound of their own voices, so they wont mind at all explaining the history of the expression they have just dropped into the conversation. There are a lot of expressions and idioms used in the French language, especially in the south and they don't always translate to what they actually mean - so, it is better just to ask, smile and find it funny!

Listening to what people say and how they say it, the particular words they use, the formal, the informal - it will only better your knowledge and understanding, so don't listen with deaf ears!

Don't ever get to the point where you think that you have learnt all that you need to know - not only is that arrogant, when it comes to a foreign language {anything actually} there is always something more to learn! 

I remember once when I was on a holiday with Mathieu, we met an English couple who were eating at the table next to us. Both had studied French at university, so obviously, they were quite adept at speaking it. I remember though, the husband made a lot of errors in pronouncing certain words and at the time, I was only learning French by myself, from books, yet I knew how to say those words correctly. It goes to show that no matter what your level of qualification, we are only human and are bound to make mistakes, especially if we don't revise things!

I hope these help in some way! Good luck on your journey and in your travels!

Village Of The Week: Aups

This is the first post in what will be a series of posts entitled, Village of the Week. I have lived here in Provence for a while now and have done a lot of exploring. I have come across many charming, quaint,  picturesque villages that barely get a mention in the tourist books, so I thought that I would shine a light on some of them for those who want to discover the real Provence and perhaps see a part of France that they never knew existed!

This is Rue Rosette Ciofi; through to the left of the arch is where I hold my market stall.

I am somone that loves history; it facinates me and I love going to old places, standing on cobbled roads and wondering who else walked those very streets in another time. I am mesmerized by the architecture, the bell towers, fountains and the narrow streets lined with stone houses adorned by window boxes over-flowing with colour. To me, it conjures up memories of life from another time that I have never lived - that sentence could only make sense to me, but... it's pure magic. 

This is the Bell-tower of Aups; it is a certified, historical monument and dates back to the 16th century.

With that said, my first Village-of-the-Week-pick is Aups. I've chosen this one to start with because I have quite a soft spot for this village. It is part of the National Park of the Verdon and is known as the 'Southern Gateway' to the Gorges du Verdon {Verdon Gorges}. Aups rests at the foothills of the Alps  and is rich in culture and history dating back to 6 BC. It's a stone's throw away from Lake St. Croix and Lake Esparron, two of the most beautiful lakes in the South.

Lake St. Croix.

Lake Esparron.

For those who are culinary inclined & the rest of you Foodies - Aups is full of divine restaurants that will tantilize your taste buds. You wont be disappointed with an array of local wines, olive oil, honey and of course truffles {no, I dont mean chocolate truffles, I mean the mushroomy kind}!  There are a few small boutiques & galleries and of course, the market every Wednesday and Saturday until 1pm.

Local lamb in provençal herbs, wedges & what southern meal would be complete without a serve of ratatouille!

Local honey products including various types of honies, royal jelly, honeycomb and beeswax candles!

A little French boutique selling the usual, soaps, bedding, cushions, pottery & other homewares.

The first time I went to Aups was back in 2007. I spoke no more than a few words of French - bonjour; au revoir; merci! One fine, August morning, Mathieu said to me, 'You are going to sell Melons at Aups Market today' - 'Um... OK'!

An hour later, he dropped me in front of an old fountain, set up my melon stand and off he went to another market. My stand wasn't in the heart of the actual market {I took great comfort in that!}, it was futher up a cobbled road, surrounded by old apartments and leading up to the Porte des Aires. To my left was a very romantic laneway and to my right, through an archway was a street called Rosette Ciofi. Little did I know at the time that I was surrounded by ghosts waiting for me to discover their stories.

There are many Roman remains around the South of France, even in Aups. In fact, the very fountain that my market stall was set up in front of, was an old Roman milestone. The Porte des Aires is part of the old wall surrounding the village of Aups and from this arched gateway, you can see the rooftops of the very well preserved, medievil village. In those days, outside those village walls would have been surrounding wheat fields but today, the highschool, carparks and small apartment buildings are neighbours to the ancient site. Amongst the terracotta coloured tiles, belltower, and stairwells you will also be able to spot some of the remnants of the castle ramparts dating back to the 12th and 16th centuries.

Anyone who is interested in history would know that religious wars plagued Europe for centuries. This was an incredibly brutal and bloody time and in 1574, the horror spilled into Aups with over 200 people slaughtered in front of the Church {Notre Dame de l'Assomption} which included women and children having their throats slit.

Notre Dame de l'Assomption & the fountain in the main square of the Aups village.

But, the warfare did not end there. Centuries later, as Napolean III was coming into power, Aups became the capital of  the 'Red Var', and was very much anti-Bonaparte. Troops from all over the Var faught against Bonaparte's army until they were finally defeated in 1851.

Notre Dame de la Délivrance: This church is built on the ruins of the former castle and is in honour of the Virgin for sparing the lives of the inhabitants of Aups during the war against Napoléon Bonaparte.

Aups was also home to many members of the French Resistance Army during the German occupation of WW2 and there are monuments in every village to pay tribute to them. Rosette Ciofi was a 17 year old girl and an aid to the Resistance Army. She was shot whilst trying to prevent German soldiers from discovering members of the Resistance who were hiding in a street. The street where she was shot was named after her and I have sat next to it a thousand times, selling melons during the Summer months.

This one speaks for itself.

While the history of Aups is not so well known, one thing that Aups is definitely well known for, is it's markets. Every Wednesday and Saturday, people flock from far and wide to be a part of this very vibrant atmosphere.

The tree lined square is full of white parasoles as far as the eye can see with vendors selling food, clothes and everything in between. The air is pungent with a mélange of different scents ranging from lavender & other fresh cut flowers, herby olives & garlicy sun-dried tomatoes, cheese, dried meats and of course, paella.

Dried lavender, soaps, hand towels - touristy gifts typical to Provence. 

Dried meats including donkey, goat, horse, cow, pig & boar.

Wine-crusted donkey sausage - the French dont muck around when it comes to dried meats!

Pick a sausage, any sausage!

A variety of cheese - local to Corsican!

Corsican cheese is extremely strong in taste and smell! If you are trying French cheese for the first time, dont start with this because the smell alone will put you off for life!

Fresh fish...

Artichoke flowers... these will last forever. I still have some in a vase that I picked 3 years ago!

Locally made pottery - be careful that you aren't buying cheap-made-in-china-knock-offs!

Espadrilles - A french shoe, although, if I'm going to wear a canvas shoe, it better have a 'Toms' logo on it.

Beeswax candles made by the local Apiculteur!

 

The paella, roast chickens and roast potatoes; Get there early, or you might get a free case of food poisoning.

Table cloths...

Spices, pickles & sauces - Oh my!

So, my dear friends, I hope that you enjoyed your little trip to Aups! Stay tuned for next weeks 'Village of the Week'... I think that we may pay Cotignac a visit!

A Little Moment of Truth

Before I started this blog, I did a lot of research. I had a list of favourite blogs that I visited most days and enjoyed discovering new ones to add to it. I loved that their authors had the power to make me feel inspired and passionate about the things that I already loved to do - writing, taking photos, crafts, cooking and enjoying precious moments with the people that I love, my son, my parents, my sister and friends.

A precious moment with my baby sis!

After the initial set up of my blog, I wanted to get started straight away - and what better place to start than the 'About Me' section; but you know what? I was stumped and I couldn't believe it! How hard was it to write something about myself, a few words? I know myself better than anyone, so why was I having so much trouble?

I read other bloggers 'About Me' sections and the more that I read, the more intimidated I felt and started asking myself why someone would even bother to read my blog - especially if I couldn't even sum up into a couple of sentences who I am and what I'm about.

This is one of my favourite quotes; I feel inspired just by lookin at it {which is why I have a framed copy on my wall!}. I found it on Pinterest.

 I must have read one hundred 'About Me' sections from random blogs, written by females from all over the world. They were all summed up perfectly; their sentences were so beautifully constructed and their photos were dreamlike and whimsical. These women were perfect mothers, wives, crafters / cooks / photographers / writers and bloggers, with clean, tidy homes, sculpted gardens, organised workspaces and their children never had tanties. They always had happy dispositions and never seemed to struggle with anything. They were perfect women with perfect lives and it was all wrapped up in a pretty pink bow, showcased through their blogs. I felt really out of my depth, because I thought that those were the requirements that I needed to posess, in order to make a read-worthy blog.

Then one day recently, I had an ephiphany. Those women, whose blogs I used to read on a daily basis - were by no means perfect. No body is; and life never is either. There are high points and low points. Those women were good at making themselves and their lives look perfect, but who is that helping because behind the smiling faces - when the camera stops flashing and their make-up is off, that is where the reality is. Is where the truth is. And that is what I want my blog to be. I want it to be real and true. Sure, I want to put up beautiful photos and create something inspirational and uplifting, but at the same time, I dont want anybody to think that I am always smiling or laughing {because I'm not}; or that my child never has tantrums {because I'm that mother carrying her screaming kid out of the toy section}; or that my house is always clean and tidy {you should see it today!}; or that I never burn my muffins {even making toast is a challenge these days};  because that is just not true. I have high points and low points. It's a pretty even flow actually, but the low points really make you apprecitate the high points and basque in them.

If looks could kill... I'd be one door-nail!

So, in saying all of that, here are some other truthes about me that I thought you should know before we go any further down this road.

• I struggle at the best of times to find the right words to say {in both English and French}. I never know what to say to anyone in moments of grief and find that a hug or a gesture is worth just as much, if not more than a few consoling words strung together.

I picked this bouquet of wild flowers for Mathieu's Grandpa, Julien, who passed away in the Summer of 2012. It was something that I wanted to do for him, because he was a farmer and he loved the rurual, rustic country. He was always so lovely to me. I still think about him and I still miss him.

• Although I love taking photos I will take hundreds just to get one good shot. I've only just learnt how to use my camera properly... and I've had it for over three years. My next challenge is learning how to use my iphone.

A very rare shot; a Cicada / Cigale emerging from it's skeleton. It was a really beautiful thing to watch!

• I'm not a perfect daughter, sister or friend. I try to be, but relationships are hard - a good hard, but still hard. I love my family to the moon and back and we are all really close and laugh a lot, but that doesn't mean that we dont fight. They are never huge, hateful fights and dont usually last longer than a day. I never understood people who could fight like that, especially with people that they love, that they are lucky to have. I'm so grateful for my family and have beautiful memories and stories because of them. They have been there through everything and even if they weren't holding my hand at the time, they were definitely holding my heart - and still are.

My beautiful family!

• As for being a Mama, I am no where near perfect! I do try to be the best that I can be for my son although I do make mistakes. Having Gabe changed my life and me in so many different ways. I felt like he filled a void that I always had in me. He has shown me a deeper, stronger love that I never even dreamed could exist and makes me strive to be a better human being.      

One of our favourite places.

• My relationship with Mathieu {Gabe's dad} is nowhere near perfect - in fact, it's in a very grey area and I cant even say for sure where it / we will be this time next year.

• My house is not always clean and tidy. In fact, I'm just happy if Gabe keeps even half of his toys off the floor. When it comes to cooking, I burn shit all the time. Since I've had Gabe, I actually think the birth fried my brain a little because I seem to have lost a portion of my cooking abilities and when recipes work out well, it's a fluke, or pot luck more than talent or anything else.

• As for the crafts that I do, these are things that I have experimented with over the years. I have so many hobbies, because I become interested in one thing and for weeks, it will consume me. I'll buy all the equipment that I need and books; I'll watch Youtube videos and start a project. Then, I will discover something new and the cycle will repeat itself before I have even finished the last project that I was working on.  I am also someone who gets in idea in my head of how I want something to be, and if something doesn't turn out exactly how I initially imagined it, I find it really hard to except it and even harder to try again. When I first started making soap, I had a lot of batches go rancid. I felt like I had really failed... then I realised, if I just give up, I will never suceed at anything; I will fail 'myself' more than anything else. So I kept going, and eventually things started to go right.

My home made Orange & Cinnamon soap - deliciosos!

And, that is my little moment of truth. Epiphanies and realisations are so important for growth and self development. Without them, you wont ever evolve into the beautiful creature that you are supposed to be.